I know, I know. Those who know me will instantly say “Here he goes again. Here comes Sir Cynical, Captain Crap-On, Debbie Downer’s not so distant cousin”. I watched this clip and I couldn’t help but laugh at the obvious contradiction, not to mention the blatant hypocrisy and superficiality.
“Oh, go fly a kite you sour puss!”
No I hear ya, I hear ya. Please indulge me this small bit of hating. I recognize that the end goal here is to sell cologne. Additionally, I recognize the marketing and media mechanics at work here, granted. But please, “We are one?” I speak for my self when I say that I could never in a million years see my self skipping along through the California country side with 20 or so paper thin supermodels professing my affiliation and complete “one-ness” with this pantheon of sexual wayfarers (as much as I would like). Jerry Seinfeld said once “only ten percent of the total population is good looking.” I think they have at least 1 percent of them in this video. Seriously, can you see you or one of your relatives in this herd of denim clad prima donnas? This is one club that I would NOT join if they chose me as a member. How many of us would? Besides, my pasty and freckled insipidness is contrary to their calculated ambiguous ethnicity (not to mention my beer gut). It’s like the cast party for Gattica. I'm curious why this guy didn’t make the cut. “Red Rover, Red Rover let Roy Weaver here come over".
I am tickled by the creative concept laid out here. The behind the scenes footage is the true punch line. When supermodel Cameron Russell claims that “we are all living in the same earth” and “we are the same” I choke up and nearly wet my fat self. Do you think she might like to spend the same quality time with her cosmic siblings in Wahoo, Nebraska? How often do you think she escapes the trappings of West Hollywood to connect with her earthen kin in Balch Springs, Texas? Can you see that group coming over the hill in say, Bixby, Oklahoma? As a matter of consideration, do you think any of them really wear CK One? Do you think they even have sweat glands? Do you think any of them have eaten in the past two days? The slogan should be "We are HUNGRY!"
What you can’t see just out of frame is the giant, impenetrable Hollywood bubble wall they run into after passing the cameras. No one this thin or good looking leaves Southern California except on Jet Blue via JFK. I guess this is what the natives look like in the dessert of California. Surely it is somewhere far from Modesto or Bakersfield. These are the real Beverly Hillbillies just out for a shirtless stroll through Santa Barbara.
On yet another level of this plastic fun ball of hilarity, I love how the crew takes great pride in being apart of this project. You almost think they are on a humanitarian mission in a third world country helping the unprivileged smell a little better. “For just a few pennies a day, you can help Umbutu get a six pack set of abs, chiseled features and an EMO wardrobe of monochromatic denim ensembles. He can teach his entire village to walk slow-mo in Sepia. Won’t you help?” You can’t write comedy like this. It has to be real. This is how they perceive the world around them (at least in front of the camera).
One question remains. Where the hell are they running off to? Is there a ½ off sale at Jimmy Choo? Is everyone racing for shotgun in a Prius? Is someone about to snag the last organic Acai Berry juice from the craft services table? Or is it a casting call for America’s Next Top Model? Run! Run fast my little muses of the denim desert. Youth fades, Ben & Jerry’s is irresistible and CK One is still the cologne of choice for over gelled, mall rat douche bags sipping on crown and coke at the ultra lounge in Woodbridge, New Jersey.
It's okay to hate beautiful people now and then. We all love to see them taken down a notch. Isn't that what sells millions of magazines? It's simply comical when they can come out with a campaign targeting all of us claiming to be one of us, one of the normal kind, one of the struggling schmucks who try to get by looking modestley human. We just try not to leave our fly unzipped or fall over things. We put our pants on ONE leg at a time. Don't hate me because I'm hating. After all, we are ONE.
Posts
