Dallas; it ain't Frisco

I grew up in a small suburb in East Dallas. The neighborhood consists of mostly young couples and retirees that have stayed put for over 30 years. Most of the homes in my neighborhood were built in the 1950's. There is some historic charm to the area and close proximity to one of the few natural amenities that Dallas has to offer, White Rock Lake. We are close enough to enjoy the occasional random gun shot and riff-raff hullabaloo to keep things interesting. After living in several different cities, I have returned to raise my own family in a house located just a few blocks from where I grew up. I can still remember the sights, sounds and even smells of my childhood. There really is just a few words to appropriately sum it up; corn dogs, Christians with a little football on the side.
Dallas is concentrically situated with most of the inner urban development located inside an interstate beltway. Dallas is home to over 1.3 million people. There are many that say Dallas has no reason for existence except for the trains. Most of the land was once cow pasture and open prairie. Most of the trees in the city are non-indigenous. Inside the beltway one may find a more diverse population. This is what makes the inner city so fascinating. It serves as a cultural convergence of all these populations. The dynamic political landscape is interesting as well. Additionally, Dallas sustains one of the most diverse and prosperous middle classes in the country.
Outside the beltway the population is segregated with predominately brown in the East and West, black in the South, white in the North. These exurbs, filled with new money and corporate middle management, were virtually non existent 40 years ago. Woody Allen once once described Los Angeles as "a city whose only cultural advantage is being able to make a right turn on red." This is Frisco. Don't get me wrong. Frisco is not the only town that gets a rap for this kind of cultural vapidness. There are several sub-divided enclaves of safety and conformity one make seek refuge in. One only has to jump on a toll road and look for a corporate campus with a paid exit. It's commonly referred to as the 972 by locals. This is the area code for most of the suburbs north of 635. Oh, who am I kidding? I'll be there in a few years living in one of those subdivisions. It will probably be called "Prairie Vista, Vista de Rancho, Vista de Lago or Vista de Toll Road." Our house will be two blocks down from the Applebees and the Kohl's at the end of a corporate park. I'll be a middle age dad with frosted tips and canned tan driving a Chevy Avalanche, coaching little league soccer, wearing Crocs and Oakley's, living out of a Costco and doing cannon balls for the kids in the shared amenity pool.
People like their sports teams down here. There is a professional franchise in almost every sport imaginable and a fan base to support it. There is also a close tie to the bible belt. I have never seen so many churches. You can convert to six different denominations and get a Starbucks without ever leaving the same block. In the exurbs, such as Plano, the churches are ridiculous in square footage. There is a church in Plano that has it's own stadium. This is where God has box seats and Satan sits behind the goal post. I got a call from friend who wanted me to go to church with him. I asked where his seats were. He said UDGS-“upper deck general sinner. Oh, and its communion night for the first 500 fans." I think they have their own airport as well. In fact, mass baptisms are handled by a 747 that barnstorms a nearby lake. This church even has a smaller church inside of it. It even has it's own red light district. You can sin and confess without ever going outside.
Dallas is an intriguing place to come from, but no one seems to be traveling here. Ever ask anyone if they’ve been to Dallas? “I’ve been to the airport” Imagine how Oklahoma City feels? Oklahoma City looks oh so pretty…from 30,000 feet up. I had a friend from the West Coast tell me that he came through the airport in Dallas and said "Man, the women in Texas are beautiful." I would consider that a compliment if not for the fact that if they’re in an airport chances are they’re from somewhere else. Every time they televise a football game from here, they show the same 3 spots: Downtown at night, a long horn eating grass and the Fort Worth Stockyards. They should show some crank dealer in the parking lot at Dickie's in Mesquite. He’s got the take out cup filled to the brim with the free soft serve ice cream and it's slowly melting down across his axle grease covered hands and out on to his half lit Marlboro. He’s got 6 kids and a pit bull hanging out of a beat up Mercury.
I moved to Seattle for about 8 years and came back. Now there’s a cultural disparity. I'm just glad to be in a trafic jam not caused by a boat for a change. Also, For 8 years I never saw the sun. I've been back for 6 years and I’ve never seen a Democrat. But Dallas has changed a lot in past decade. I came back and had to ask someone what Frisco was? I thought it was Big Tex’s new sidekick. “Tune in next week as Big Tex and Frisco go after that no good horse wrangler, Sachse Sam". There are all these new suburbs now with different social pressures and one-up-isms. It used to be everyone was insecure about living in Dallas. Now the native inadequacy has segmented into different neighborhoods. There’s Uptown, M Streets...The Grove. There are two things one must observe when considering Pleasant Grove. It has no grove to speak of and pleasant is as far from an accurate description as one may ever guess. Uptown has a slogan: “Uptown, It ain't Downtown.” Uptown is a collective settlement of Frisco expatriates who have yet to spawn. Who’s the guy that came up with the name Uptown? Is this the same guy that came up with “Ball Park in Arlington?”
Oh, and one more thing. It does tend to get a little hot here in the summer.